Monday, October 13, 2008

First

Dear lil' dude,

Today I held your new friend, baby H. He is only 4 days old ... he is all pink and soft and smooth and perfect and he never even opened his eyes as I held him. My eyes cried little tears when I remembered you were once that small. My now feisty, determined, crazy little girl ... you once held perfectly still as you slept in my arms.

I talked to H's Mama about how her heart had to grow bigger in the last 4 days, because H has a big sister, A. How she is now two Mamas all in one and she has a baby on each side of her now forever. She cried a little bit, acknowledging the big job and reminiscing about A as a baby. She said there is just nothing like the first one. How it's not ever going to be like the first time.

You, lil' dude, are my first one. You are everything and anything wrapped into one baby girl thing. Today reminded me of what you are to me, and what we are together. You will always be my first everything.

Mama loves.

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